This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
