I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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