So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
