He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
