Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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