I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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