She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i think i just lost a toe
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
