Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
