just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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