Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's like iHOP with fire
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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