I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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