Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
