Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize