we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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