No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
