allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
