he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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