piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
