Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
