Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
