I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
