i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
