i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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