i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
