Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Randomize
