Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
