and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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