She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
