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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

  (310): View more from California

  maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.

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• (716): View more from New York

  So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.

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• (626): View more from California

  they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him

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