I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
