Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
