I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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