Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
