I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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