I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
