I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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