it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
