I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
