And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
