he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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