I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
