I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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