She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
