We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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