Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
