You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
