O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
