Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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