Where is the hickey?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
