Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
