then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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