apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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