I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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