didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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