he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize