I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize