I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
