the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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