I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
