Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
