She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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