I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
