So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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