I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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