as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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