Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
