love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
