It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize