at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
