I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
